Comic - Spider Jerusalem

Spider Jerusalem

Kneel Downe remembers comics' greatest creation, Spider Jerusalem...

There is an oft told story that prospective Dr Who writers dream of the moment when they can gaze at an empty screen and finally get to type the words “Interior, TARDIS”. In that moment they have arrived. The long hoped for future has at last become real.Every prospective journalist worth his or her salt has at some point longed to bash out those four words sitting at the top of this piece.“I hate it here!”Say hello to comics greatest creation; Spider Jerusalem. Don’t expect a reply though because Spider hates you. He hates your preoccupation with sequels and prequels.

He hates mystical hammers and hi-tech metal armour. He has no time for vampire teen romance but most of all he hates your ignorance and inactivity.If ever there was a hero for our corrupt and bankrupt times it is he: resplendent in his crude and angry glory. Spider, we NEED you.Comic book movies are everywhere, featuring every A list and B list creation you can imagine. Troubled teens and intergalactic warriors vie for our attention every summer and yet the one character that mirrors the current zeitgeist remains locked in a forgotten world of paper and ink.No spandex or figure hugging leather for Spider, hell he doesn’t even wear a shirt most of the time. No gamma rays or unbreakable shield.

Spider Jerusalem

Spiders only weapons are his anger, his intellect and an internet feed.The world is changed more by the punch of a “send” key than by any cgi rendered super battle. The truth is ultimately more powerful than any mystic gizmo or hulking mindless brute.Bruce Wayne? Your secret identity is mere moments away from being hacked. Hydra? Your twists and turns are obvious to one with the desire to search and Superman? Doomsday may have killed you but only one man can literally make you shit yourself.We can never be Peter Parker or Steve Rogers. God willing, Dr Doom will never cast his shadow across our door but with a little desire, anger and belief we could all become little spiders.And so another summer comes around. Another slew of big budget super heroes blaze across our screens. The world teeters on the brink of collapse and the bankers and politicians get richer while we all get a little dumber.The greatest comic book film never made remains just that.As Spider would say, “If anyone in this shithole city gave two tugs of a dead dogs cock about Truth, this wouldn’t be happening.”“Truth is the sword of us all.”

Image - Wikipedia.