Christmas in July - A Letter

Letters to Santa

We kick off our Christmas in July celebration with a letter to Santa Claus. We don't think Santa will answer this one as Steve Taylor-Bryant is most definitely not a good boy...

Dear Santa/Boss

I'm have been a good boy this year. No one can find the bodies and I stopped pulling that girl's hair when her daddy explained that his foot up my arse would hurt, therefore I'd like presents this year instead of another restraining order. I have a few things on my list and I know it's only July but my carer here at TheDreamCage facility said we're doing Christmas now, so here it is.

I would like a shit ton of DVDs including -

That one where Kevin Spacey plays a nice president instead of that idiot that is actually president.

Anything written by Aaron Sorkin.

And Die Hard just to annoy the other inmate, Nate McKenzie, who doesn't believe it's a Christmas film and has no joy in his cold, dead heart.

I'd also like some technology stuff like that box from Amazon that reminds you of things and nags like mummy used to until I made the voices stop.

I'd also like some books. I like things recommended by Oliver Stone best as we know how impartial and non-conspori... non-conspiart... not sneaky he is.

I hope you get my letter and don't hold that piece of graffiti on the office door against me, obviously it's not you I was calling an evil Cock-Womble

Yours merrily

Steven aged 41 3/4

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